


forever purring in the sun

by Caracalliope



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Apologies, Friendship is Magic, Gen, Memes, Orphans, Post-Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:56:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26918461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caracalliope/pseuds/Caracalliope
Summary: ~Dirk, Roxy, and Victorian orphan cat RPF.~
Relationships: Roxy Lalonde & Dirk Strider
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	forever purring in the sun

TT: Hey. How’re you feelin’?

TG: hungover like an almighty wizzard’s almusky ballsacks  
TG: yknow, the ones hes got hangin over his cauldron  
TG: low enough to stir those newt eyes when the wizzard shimmies his hips  
TG: abracahocus testiculpocus

TT: Nice.

TG: guess u want to tell me u told me so re: imbibing

TT: Nah.  
TT: I actually wanted to tell you to hold the presses.

TG: ?

TT: The presses must be held because - and this is strictly off the record, Lalonde, so ignore those rookie journo instincts screaming about the scoop of the century - I was an arrogant asshole to you yesterday and I apologize.

TG: !

TT: I know, the abject humility on display here could ruin me. I’m having the Autoresponder draft the NDA as we speak. I trust you will swallow your laptop when you finish reading this message.

TG: um so just to be clear do you mean abt the drinkin stuff?

TT: That too. But mostly, I mean the food-related conversation we had before it, when you were hungry and I upset you? On a reread, it’s such a pure concentration of my bullshit that you should have slammed the chat window in my face. And for the non-record? I was talking out of my undernourished ass when I said “our limited supplies are a test of our resilience”.  
TT: Who the fuck even talks like that? Ugh.

TG: heh  
TG: i just  
TG: didnt like that you made it sound like my mom wanted me to suffer  
TG: i dont know if shed do that but  
TG: but id rather she was a fuckup like me than like  
TG: setting up tests for me to fail.

TT: Yeah.  
TT: You don’t think they  
TT: Never mind. Strike the previous line from the non-record.

TG: do i think they had a plan for us?

TT: Y.

TG: idk but  
TG: if they did  
TG: i hope it went *seriously* off the rails  
TG: or maybe it was just like  
TG: the best thing they could imagine for us that wasn’t death  
TG: aaaaaaaaaaanyways  
TG: mr strider, may i offer you my artistic rendition of how this conversation went down in my boozy daydreams

TT: Y? I hope so?  
  
TG:  


TT: Oh shit.  
TT: I can see it now: you charming old ladies out of their sweetmeats with your wavy coat. Me, hardened by years of tomcat bootcamp, trawling the cobblestoned streets, clearing the path for you.

TG: were both getting treats from bored restaurant owners  
TG: lots of kinds of pasta

TT: Fighting bigger, meaner, more chitinous cats for territory, curling up in cardboard boxes together at night.  
TT: I mean, to prevent cat hypothermia.

TG: hypothermnya!!!!!!!!!!!

TT: Hah. We’d be doing fine, I guess that was the point I tried and failed to make yesterday. No gods, no masters, no reliable source of nutrition, just us, and we’re doing good.

TG: <3 :3

TT: Y.

**Author's Note:**

> The cat meme comes from comic artist Hannah Hillam.
> 
> The fic title comes from _The Ballad of Melody Nelson_ , which doesn't even slightly fit the story, but I can't resist sticking Placebo songs on Dirk whenever I can get away with it. I think this conversation happened one summer when they were fourteen and he was listening to Sleeping with Ghosts on loop.


End file.
